So the other night I was driving along, minding my own business, and eagerly getting closer to arriving at home for the night. Traffic wasn't too bad, which was wonderful, and I was able to drive at a pretty decent pace--below the speed limit of course (cough cough).
I saw a little motion in the cars ahead of me and looked over to find a car that seemed to be completely out of control. Not as in moving around a bit inside the lane out of control. I mean swerving completely across five lanes of traffic and nearly colliding with the concrete divider out of control. The driver literally pulled out of the swerve just barely in time to avoid a messy crash, swerved back into traffic and across two more lanes before finally settling into something resembling a sane driving course.
In the process, they cut off three different cars--one lucky guy got it twice--and scared the crap out of all of us. I've never seen an entire section of traffic look disapproving before, but you could almost feel the collective "What the crap are you doing?" in the air. The crazy driver slowed down under the sheer shame of it, and most of his fellow drivers accelerated to leave him safely in their dust. Drunk, asleep or just plain cracked out, at the very least they didn't sideswipe me as I edged my way past them a few moments later.
This has been another episode of why Houston drivers are awful and why my commute is terrible. I hope you guys are driving safe, and I'll see you around...hopefully.
Showing posts with label Tales from the Commute. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tales from the Commute. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thoughts and Commentary: Driving in Houston
Warning, the following is the result of a bitter, antisocial young man driving an hour to work each day. These comments may be bitter, sarcastic, self-contradictory, and are generally unwholesome. You've been warned.
Ah, Houston. The one place where if you cut in front of somebody, it is tradition to immediately slam on the brakes.
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Oh dear. An old guy. Going 30 in a 40. Good for him. In his day, real men didn't need those extra 10 miles an hour! They just worked with the 30 they had and made do! Not like these fancy kids these days with their iBerries and their Facechats. No need to hurry so much. No need at all.
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You drunk douche. You're so boozed you don't know what's going on, do you? You're staring at the green arrow, trying to figure out what kind of mysterious message it's trying to tell you. You know it's important, you just can't figure out why. You're going to run over a teenager and regret it for the rest of your stupid stinking life.
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No, driving five miles below the speed limit does not make talking on your cell phone safer when you drive.
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Whoa, look at the old guy go! It's like they slipped laxatives in his prune juice or something.
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Does the rest of Houston know something about overpasses that I don't? Everyone always drops their speed going under them. It's not like there's any possibility of ice here; it's like 80 degrees out. Are there trolls? Grues? Maybe a fuhubugath? I just wish I knew...
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Nooooooooo! BUS!
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Left for work five minutes early. Cue twenty minutes of unexpected bumper to bumper traffic due to the average driver's inability to merge. Welcome to Houston.
Ah, Houston. The one place where if you cut in front of somebody, it is tradition to immediately slam on the brakes.
-------
Oh dear. An old guy. Going 30 in a 40. Good for him. In his day, real men didn't need those extra 10 miles an hour! They just worked with the 30 they had and made do! Not like these fancy kids these days with their iBerries and their Facechats. No need to hurry so much. No need at all.
-------
You drunk douche. You're so boozed you don't know what's going on, do you? You're staring at the green arrow, trying to figure out what kind of mysterious message it's trying to tell you. You know it's important, you just can't figure out why. You're going to run over a teenager and regret it for the rest of your stupid stinking life.
--------
No, driving five miles below the speed limit does not make talking on your cell phone safer when you drive.
--------
Whoa, look at the old guy go! It's like they slipped laxatives in his prune juice or something.
-------
Does the rest of Houston know something about overpasses that I don't? Everyone always drops their speed going under them. It's not like there's any possibility of ice here; it's like 80 degrees out. Are there trolls? Grues? Maybe a fuhubugath? I just wish I knew...
--------
Nooooooooo! BUS!
--------
Left for work five minutes early. Cue twenty minutes of unexpected bumper to bumper traffic due to the average driver's inability to merge. Welcome to Houston.
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